Student Syllabus

Introduction: In the following weeks you will be asked to participate in a series of classes that will focus on the topic and techniques of Conflict Resolution (CR). The CR classes are similar to workshops and other programs that take place in many settings across America . The techniques of CR are currently being taught and utilized by a diverse group of citizens from local school children to international negotiators.

Why learn Conflict Resolution? The people of this nation are attempting to cope with a culture and world that has become more violent and destructive. As a concerned people we ask ourselves - How do we become less violent and more peaceful – How do we begin?

The answer is fairly simple - we begin with ourselves. We begin with a personal decision to live a life that is based on the highest values of cooperation and compassion toward others. We make a promise to teach our children by words and example about peace and kindness.

We act with the understanding that our guidance will have the same effect as throwing a pebble in a pond – as ripples of peace and compassion spread outward to others – others will witness and embrace these higher ideals.

How did I get here?  Our view of the world was developed as a learned experience.  From our earliest memories of childhood we observed how people interacted with each other. Our family treated us and spoke to us in a certain manner that defined our personality. Significant people and events throughout our lives helped to form the characteristics of our personality. Later, from personal experiences and norms of our culture we developed our style of interacting with others. We gained a belief about the world and our place in it from what we saw in all forms of communication.

If we have not always treated others with kindness and understanding – we are not alone in our actions - our culture has not necessarily rewarded this behavior. However, we have been rewarded for independent action and forcefulness, not giving an inch. We have based our lives on the notion that each of us must stand up for ourselves at all costs, for our needs will not be met if others perceive weakness. This is in part the belief that has brought us to this place in our world.

For many people in our culture they have arrived at a place of intolerance of others, independent thinking and behavior that only satisfies their own needs: this is not the stuff of peace, tolerance and compassion.

What is Conflict Resolution? Conflict Resolution is a different way of thinking. CR rests squarely on the belief that there will always be conflicts and conflict is necessary for life, growth and change. Therefore, it can be said that CR embraces conflicts. CR principal holds that we can resolve our conflicts, differences and problems in a manner that never includes aggression but always includes communication and respect. CR principal rests on the belief that each of us has the right to be heard and that human dignity is forever revered and honored. A basic principle of CR is the belief that we all have needs and those needs may be met through cooperation, creativity and within an environment of good faith.

The term, Conflict Resolution, incorporates many principles and practices. Think of CR as a very large umbrella under which there is a place for: mediation, negotiation, problem solving, anger management, peace education, and all forms of Peacebuiding.

PeaceBuilding for Families: The six classes that you, your ex-partner and child/children will be participating in have been developed as workshops that encourage your participation. We hope you will begin to experience your conflicts from the higher principles and practice of Conflict Resolution.

Your Participation: The court has asked you, your ex-partner and child/children to participate in the PeaceBuilding for Families Program. However, we understand the willingness to learn and apply the principles will only come from your personal desire to participate. We ask that your journey begin with an open heart – and as an act of good faith.

Community Resource Book: Each student will receive a resource book, which lists many help agencies throughout the community.  You are encouraged to find other help sources that are available in our community.

Program Overview: The PeaceBuilding for Families Program offers six classes, which focus on the principles of CR. The time allowance for each class is one hour. There are three separate courses, one for non-custodial parents, custodial parents and one course for children. Although theses courses will be exclusive to each group, they have been developed to compliment and support the other groups’ technique building skills.

The program has been developed so that each class is taught independently from the other classes. In other words, you may enter the program at any time after your orientation class. There is not a prerequisite for one class in order to take the next class.  However, if you miss a class it will only be taught once every four weeks. You will not be able to complete the program for that extended period of time. We prefer the student begin the training and follow the six-week course without a break, to conclusion. At the completion of the classes, each adult student will attend a two-hour mediation workshop.

During the mediation workshop the parent will have the opportunity to schedule mediation. The facilitator will review the training course with each student on an individual basis.

Course Objectives: It is our hope that students will learn - to resolve conflicts from the higher principles of Conflict resolution and understand that conflicts and problems are a normal part of life - what matters is how they resolve conflicts.  We hope that parents will recognize their primary goal is to raise a child who is confident, caring and who feels loved and cared for, and to know that only they can accomplish that goal - and to understand that in order to be a successful and loving parent children must come first and be above all else.

We hope students who attend PeaceBuilding for Families will rise above past hurt, pain and disappointment, which is a part of all of our lives; to grow past resentment and anger and grow emotionally stronger through PeaceBuilding skills; to focus on their children and their needs and to learn new strategies to help their children through the difficult process of loss and change.

Certificate of Completion: Upon completion of the six-week training program and the two-hour mediation component the student will receive a certificate of completion. The certificate will be awarded at a graduation celebration with the student and his/her child/children present. The student will be able to present the certificate to the court upon completion.

Course content

Orientation: The time allowance for orientation is 30 minutes. The facilitator will discuss the particulars of the program and answer questions, as time allows. The students will be shown a short video titled: “Children of Divorce.”

Understanding Conflict: This course is designed to help participants recognize that all of us have a conflict style; students learn new methods of handling conflicts.  A focus of this course is for families to understand that conflicts are a necessary part of life, and conflicts can bring about positive growth and change.

Problem Solving – Techniques for getting to Yes: This course demonstrates how positional bargaining usually has negative results. The course teaches students how to focus on interests and not positions. Techniques are taught on creating options, and on how to separate people from problems. Students explore counter perspectives to blaming others; social skills are strengthened.

Anger Management: This course focuses on teaching an alternative to aggressive behavior, which is emotional expression with self-control.  Techniques are taught on how to control aggressive behavior. The lesson teaches that aggressive behavior is learned; therefore, it can be unlearned.  Relaxation and anger management techniques are demonstrated.

Grief and Emotional Pain – Coping Skills for Loss: This lesson focuses on helping participants get in touch with feelings of sadness and grief. The stages of grief are taught and the meanings of loss are explored.

The Big C Communication: This lesson teaches the steps and processes of communication; different forms of communication – including verbal – are explored.  Students learn that conflicts begin with perceptions. Techniques are taught which focus on abilities of observation. A focus of this class is on styles of communication.

Legal Issues: The student is taught some of the basic concepts of California Family law. The concept and meaning of: In the best Interest of the Child, is explored. The focus of this class is for students to recognize that mediation is a viable method of resolving disputes that have been typically settled in court.